The Secret Handshake
Written by Master Whang
This article by Master Whang (Sr. and/or Jr.) was originally written for and posted on www.CarbonEcho.com, a martial arts website dedicated to educating the public about all martial arts. While the site enjoyed tremendous popularity, it ceased operations several years ago.
The Secret Handshake
I’ve never been part of a secret society. I am not a Mason, nor was I ever tapped on my shoulder from behind and invited to join any senior secret societies in college. Yet, I’ve often thought that people must be wondering what kind of secret society I belong to.
You see, on the street, when I run into my students, what people often see is two perfectly normal people in regular business clothes, one of whom is Korean American (me) and the other who is usually anything but, bow, and exchange the “Secret Handshake” — the Taekwondo handshake. This I do with men and women of all ages, even with children. It’s usually when this happens on the New York City subway trains on my way to my day job as a lawyer in midtown Manhattan that this exchange draws quizzical looks from my fellow commuters.
There’s not much to do other than to leave the public puzzled and wondering, maybe even a little scared that they are in the midst of witnessing some secret cult ritual. As a Taekwondoist and as someone who grew up with Korean culture, this behavior is completely second nature to me. But I often have to stop and take a step back. Even with my students, I have to constantly remind myself that there are reasons behind the way we shake hands that are not obvious to someone who does not come from a background like my own.
For those of you who are non-Taekwondoists, we shake hands with the non-shaking hand supporting the shaking one. In essence, we shake hands with both hands.
People of the “Just do as I do” school of thought might simply explain it as, “This is what we do, so just do it”. I like to explain it a little more in detail.
The simplest explanation is that when you shake hands the way we do, and with a bow, we are showing each other that the simple and every day act of meeting, extending a hand, taking the other person’s in yours, is a precious act, one which is worthy of more than merely one hand. It’s analogous to receiving a precious piece of art, a vase or a trophy,or some other treasure. One would certainly never exchange such objects flippantly by tossing them at each other, and anyone who valued such an object is likely to accept it carefully and respectingly with both hands. “You are valuable to me, and so is the act of shaking your hand” is the message inherent in this handshake.
Technically, though (and forgive me for getting too legalistic here), in Korean culture, ,just as the senior in any given relationship is not obligated bow to the junior when meeting (in fact SHOULD not bow if the relationship is a well established one), the senior is not obligated to do the Handshake with a junior. One hand without the bow is enough.
I’ve long stopped trying to explain all those complicated rules, the exceptions to the rules, the exceptions to the exceptions, etc., that I started outlining above. It’s just too complicated. I just do the Handshake across the board. Sometimes, doing so is actually in line with the real rules, as when I shake the hands of those students who are are older than me. Although I am senior in rank to them as a Taekwondoist, I am also their junior in age and life experience, so the Handshake can be appropriate in that context.
But as a matter of fact, I just end up doing the Handshake with everyone, even the youngest Pee Wee child, because it’s much easier to teach them by that simple example, than to lay out the rule, and the exceptions to the rule, etc.,etc. Heck, with all the rules and exceptions, you’d need a lawyer nearby just to figure it all out.
Besides, I like my secret society.
